6/2/2014
Weight (Home Scale): 255.4
Walked: 2.5 miles
Steps: 12556
Monday, June 2, 2014
Sunday, June 1, 2014
How it all started
I was not an overweight child. In high school I played sports, lifted weights, and danced. Physically the only thing I could never do was run (Not that I ever really tried). I thought I had gotten fat in my early twenties when at age 23 I hit 165 lbs. I was still active I had taken up fencing, hiking and even played laser tag several times a month with friends.
At 26 I was 189 lbs and had stopped being active. I was 193 lbs when my husband and I got engaged. It was the height of the Atkins craze and I of course jumped into the diet full force to loose weight for my wedding. I lost over 30 lbs in 6 months and was so happy to walk down the isle at a weight I had once considered fat. But like most crash diets when I had to come off it because I was pregnant (honeymoon baby :) ) I gained all the weight back plus another 8 for the pregnancy. The week after I gave birth to my daughter I was 205 lbs.
In then next year I struggled back down to 190 lbs but my second pregnancy had me weighing in at 223 lbs the week after my son was born. I won't go into too much details about the next 3 years but medically/physically/emotionally I went through hell. I was diagnosed and treated for Cancer and ended up with an auto-immune condition that left me trapped in a wheelchair with agonizing pain in all my extremities. Depression, immobility, and the loss of the ability to work or support my family started a spiral that ended with me at 282 lbs.
I survived it is all I can say I did not prosper or flourish. I have plenty of excuses but when finally they found a way to fix the problem and I was finally pain free and able to walk again I didn't even recognize the person I had become. My husband through all of it supported and loved me and the children like only a person of true value and worth could.
I focused on getting my career back and fix the financial situation my health had placed us in. I returned to work and within the next year and a half had same the position and salary I had when we got married. I was 37 and just starting to live again when I got the first wake up call. My husband had started working out and bought a scale (something we hadn't owned since before we got married). He was doing amazing working out and lost enough weight that he was actually smaller than when we got married. I waited till a night he wasn't around and stepped on the scale.
298 lbs
I was one night of bad eating away from 300 lbs. I cried for hours unable to believe I had let myself get here. I was over 50 lbs heavier than my husband who is at least 6" taller than me. I couldn't walk up a single flight of stairs without being winded. People would ask me with concern if I was OK if I didn't take time to recover after walking from one end of the building to the other. I hated myself and couldn't believe anyone could love what I had become.
I starved myself barely eating for 2 weeks before I joined Weight Watchers Online. I tried starting P90X like my husband and injured myself within the 2nd week. Weight Watchers helped me get down to 260 but the reasons and the timing weren't quiet right yet. Work sent me on travel every few weeks for the next year and I managed to only gain 10 lbs back but I stopped really tracking and gave up on exercise using the excuse that I was still recovering from 2 years in a wheelchair and as soon as work slowed down I would start again.
It was January 2014 when two events woke me up to the fact that I needed to choose to change because the time was never going to be "perfect". The first was a snowstorm. My children now 7 & 9 wanted to play in the snow with me. I was out there tossing snow and chasing them for less than 5 minutes before I was doubled over in exhaustion. Every muscle in my legs felt like I had daggers ripping them apart. I had to sit on the cold porch and watch them have fun. I couldn't fully be a part of their life.
The next week I flew to LA for work and the first day I was there I fell and badly hurt my ankle. They had to use a wheelchair to get me to the hospital and the minute I sat in it I had flashbacks of being stuck in a wheelchair for two years. I fought off a panic attack trying to hide my terror from my co-workers while a Dr told me I tore several ligaments and would have to be completely off the ankle for several weeks. When they offered me the crutches I thought they had given me a life line out of the horror of the wheelchair.
The reality was that at over 270lbs and so completely out of shape I couldn't move more than 20ft without needing a break. I didn't even have the remembered sore underarms because I couldn't use them long enough to rub the area. I knew I had to change my life.
I called my mother and talked through my fears and what I wanted to do. She had always been my biggest supporter and I knew she would help me find my way back. No matter where I ended up I knew walking would be the first step. I had to gain back a minimum level of fitness before I could start anything too strenuous. She bought me a fit bit and looking back 5 months it was the best gift I ever received.
As soon as the Dr cleared me to walk I started counting steps. The first week I was barely reaching 2500 steps. The next I was at 3000 then 3500. After a few more weeks I was walking 1 mile every other evening and at least 5000 steps every day. The next month it was 2 miles and 8000 steps. I finally started feeling good but I knew that walking alone wouldn't be enough I needed to change my eating habits.
I joined Weight Watchers again but this time I went in person. 268.6 lbs was my official first weigh in. My husband had started running 5k's last year so I decided to start couch to 5k so that I could join him in his races. 5 weeks later and I had lost 8lbs and decided to take it up one more notch and I started T25 a whole body intense work out.
A warning to anyone out there when you are not in shape you need to accept that you are going to have to modify any workout you do. I accepted that and have been able to still get a great workout from the DVD's even though I can't jump around like the hard bodies. After 2 weeks of the program I'm tired but excited every time I finish. I'm still running/walking at night but every weekday I get up early and force myself to push myself and do T25. I've now lost 10 lbs since the start of Weight Watchers.
I find myself wanting to talk to everyone about what I'm doing and how amazing/hard it is. There are things I need to say to make them clear in my head. I also need the act of talking/writing about it to make it real and to keep myself on track/motivated. This blog is my way of getting some of that out so that I don't end up bugging my co-workers and friends too much.
This is a summery of how my Journey to the me I want to be began.
At 26 I was 189 lbs and had stopped being active. I was 193 lbs when my husband and I got engaged. It was the height of the Atkins craze and I of course jumped into the diet full force to loose weight for my wedding. I lost over 30 lbs in 6 months and was so happy to walk down the isle at a weight I had once considered fat. But like most crash diets when I had to come off it because I was pregnant (honeymoon baby :) ) I gained all the weight back plus another 8 for the pregnancy. The week after I gave birth to my daughter I was 205 lbs.
In then next year I struggled back down to 190 lbs but my second pregnancy had me weighing in at 223 lbs the week after my son was born. I won't go into too much details about the next 3 years but medically/physically/emotionally I went through hell. I was diagnosed and treated for Cancer and ended up with an auto-immune condition that left me trapped in a wheelchair with agonizing pain in all my extremities. Depression, immobility, and the loss of the ability to work or support my family started a spiral that ended with me at 282 lbs.
I survived it is all I can say I did not prosper or flourish. I have plenty of excuses but when finally they found a way to fix the problem and I was finally pain free and able to walk again I didn't even recognize the person I had become. My husband through all of it supported and loved me and the children like only a person of true value and worth could.
I focused on getting my career back and fix the financial situation my health had placed us in. I returned to work and within the next year and a half had same the position and salary I had when we got married. I was 37 and just starting to live again when I got the first wake up call. My husband had started working out and bought a scale (something we hadn't owned since before we got married). He was doing amazing working out and lost enough weight that he was actually smaller than when we got married. I waited till a night he wasn't around and stepped on the scale.
298 lbs
I was one night of bad eating away from 300 lbs. I cried for hours unable to believe I had let myself get here. I was over 50 lbs heavier than my husband who is at least 6" taller than me. I couldn't walk up a single flight of stairs without being winded. People would ask me with concern if I was OK if I didn't take time to recover after walking from one end of the building to the other. I hated myself and couldn't believe anyone could love what I had become.
I starved myself barely eating for 2 weeks before I joined Weight Watchers Online. I tried starting P90X like my husband and injured myself within the 2nd week. Weight Watchers helped me get down to 260 but the reasons and the timing weren't quiet right yet. Work sent me on travel every few weeks for the next year and I managed to only gain 10 lbs back but I stopped really tracking and gave up on exercise using the excuse that I was still recovering from 2 years in a wheelchair and as soon as work slowed down I would start again.
It was January 2014 when two events woke me up to the fact that I needed to choose to change because the time was never going to be "perfect". The first was a snowstorm. My children now 7 & 9 wanted to play in the snow with me. I was out there tossing snow and chasing them for less than 5 minutes before I was doubled over in exhaustion. Every muscle in my legs felt like I had daggers ripping them apart. I had to sit on the cold porch and watch them have fun. I couldn't fully be a part of their life.
The next week I flew to LA for work and the first day I was there I fell and badly hurt my ankle. They had to use a wheelchair to get me to the hospital and the minute I sat in it I had flashbacks of being stuck in a wheelchair for two years. I fought off a panic attack trying to hide my terror from my co-workers while a Dr told me I tore several ligaments and would have to be completely off the ankle for several weeks. When they offered me the crutches I thought they had given me a life line out of the horror of the wheelchair.
The reality was that at over 270lbs and so completely out of shape I couldn't move more than 20ft without needing a break. I didn't even have the remembered sore underarms because I couldn't use them long enough to rub the area. I knew I had to change my life.
I called my mother and talked through my fears and what I wanted to do. She had always been my biggest supporter and I knew she would help me find my way back. No matter where I ended up I knew walking would be the first step. I had to gain back a minimum level of fitness before I could start anything too strenuous. She bought me a fit bit and looking back 5 months it was the best gift I ever received.
As soon as the Dr cleared me to walk I started counting steps. The first week I was barely reaching 2500 steps. The next I was at 3000 then 3500. After a few more weeks I was walking 1 mile every other evening and at least 5000 steps every day. The next month it was 2 miles and 8000 steps. I finally started feeling good but I knew that walking alone wouldn't be enough I needed to change my eating habits.
I joined Weight Watchers again but this time I went in person. 268.6 lbs was my official first weigh in. My husband had started running 5k's last year so I decided to start couch to 5k so that I could join him in his races. 5 weeks later and I had lost 8lbs and decided to take it up one more notch and I started T25 a whole body intense work out.
A warning to anyone out there when you are not in shape you need to accept that you are going to have to modify any workout you do. I accepted that and have been able to still get a great workout from the DVD's even though I can't jump around like the hard bodies. After 2 weeks of the program I'm tired but excited every time I finish. I'm still running/walking at night but every weekday I get up early and force myself to push myself and do T25. I've now lost 10 lbs since the start of Weight Watchers.
I find myself wanting to talk to everyone about what I'm doing and how amazing/hard it is. There are things I need to say to make them clear in my head. I also need the act of talking/writing about it to make it real and to keep myself on track/motivated. This blog is my way of getting some of that out so that I don't end up bugging my co-workers and friends too much.
This is a summery of how my Journey to the me I want to be began.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)